An Update on Our Historical Talks

We will be back soon! In the meantime, you can read all sorts of ad-free articles, curated by Maura J. Graber, on the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia 

The Graber Olive House in Ontario California is still closed, due to Coronavirus concerns. We are normally open on weekends, and daily during olive season in late fall. We are sorry we cannot offer our Etiquette Seminars or Classes, nor our popular Talks and Teas at this time. 

Elbows Off the Table, Mable!

Promoting a fad and lowering one’s standards of good manners at the same time! – Regardless of what Miss Hazel Clark advised in 1922... (shown here demonstrating how to whiten elbows) elbows are not allowed on the table. Especially if one is a bridge luncheon guest in someone else’s home. Tsk, tsk!

Little hemispheres are rather elusive, but if that age-old decree of social etiquette that one should never put his elbows on the table has been proven all wrong. Also now popular idea that a grapefruit's only social usage is that of a morning appetizer, or as one of the innocent concomitants of salad or cocktail, has been proven fallacious. Nowadays, in really smart society, you plaster your elbows brazenly upon the festal board. Furthermore, you plaster them in your grapefruit! A whole one to each guest. Cut it in half to be sure, and one part is employed by each elbow for a parking place. Elbows inspired the new fad. 

Elbows are highly important parts of the anatomy in these days when women's sleeves are usually short or absent altogether. Some one discovered that the juice of grapefruit is softening and bleaching when applied to the elbows, and so efficacious that it seems as though the gods of feminine beauty designed it for arm angles. Someone else discovered that the way to combine business and pleasure is to play bridge with the aforesaid elbows resting in the damp, stinging nests of grapefruit. It is said to be difficult to get into the knack of it at first. The little hemispheres are exceedingly elusive. With the expanding scope of the new fad, it is said that all grapefruit-bridge players will arrive at a party equipped with their own towels and goggles.— Miss Hazel Clark, 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

New Holiday Talks with Teas

A full afternoon tea with delicious scones, finger sandwiches, desserts and more, is served at most all of our seminars, presentations and youth manners lessons and adult etiquette classes. 

We’ll be talking Tea Etiquette, Table Setting Etiquette, Dining History, Antiques for the Table and More 

as we celebrate 125 years of 

Graber Olives this year. 

Beginning Nov. 30th, we have several unique presentations scheduled throughout the holidays in La Casita for 

Traditions and Tea at Georgia Belle et Cie 

We still have open seats at the first two seatings, currently scheduled for Saturday Nov. 30th 

and Sunday Dec. 1st, from 2:30-4:30. 

Each talk is just $32.00 and full afternoon tea is served. 

Seating is limited! 

Call the Graber Olive House 

at 909-983-1761 to reserve your spot at one of our seminars.

For more information 

or to schedule a private group or class, 

call Maura Graber at 909-923-5650. 

“Tea: It’s History and Meaning”

“The story of tea is as strange and as fascinating as any that one can read. A prehistoric event dating back some 5,000 years is bound to be shrouded in many mysteries, but the exceptional qualities of tea are such that many legends developed concerning its beginnings. A highly civilized people like the Chinese considered it a special gift from heaven. In India, too, it was much the same. In Japan, a special ceremony grew around it. The habit of drinking tea is the only purely Asian custom which commands universal interest. Through it, the East and West have met — in a teacup!

Its introduction had a charming influence on our Western culture, even though a great deal of smuggling and piracy helped to bring it about. Discriminating Chinese taste insisted that tea should be drunk from porcelain; and this subsequently had a tremendous effect on world trade and the voyages of clipper ships. Art, politics, and religion were all involved. 

All this mystery and adventure stirred up many superstitions. Even today, some tea companies attach a little saying to each tea bag, such as: "to stir tea in the pot is to stir up strife."

"Floating tea leaves mean 'watch for strangers coming.' To tell the gender and the day of arrival, put them on the back of one hand and tap the hand with the other until they adhere — each tap is one day — and if they are soft leaves, it is a woman; if hard, a man."Fortune-telling from tea leaves is not solely a gypsy custom. Many people have read meanings into the shapes and groups of leaves that form in the bottom of the cup — how accurately is, of course, another matter...’’ - from Table Settings, Entertaining and Etiquette; A History and Guide

Planning Our 125th Celebrations

Yes we are, Violet! We took some time off, while we’re planning the Graber Olive House’s 125th anniversary celebrations , but we’ll soon be back. Our newest Traditions and Tea schedule (including some Downton Abbey themed teas) will be up later this month on the blog. We have some great talks planned for our 125th year, so check back with us to reserve a spot!

Gloves and Glove Etiquette

New glove fashions for Spring of 1929 and a blog post on glove etiquette, compiled from numerous etiquette authorities https://www.harssidanzar.com/glove-etiquette/ 

The prices were most likely comparable to 2019’s, even though this advertisement is 90 years old. The “Highboy” below, from the same newspaper, seems a bit pricey, but is most likely comparable to a modern day “radio receiver” or “mobile phone.”

19th C. Napkin Folding

Two napkin folds for the 19th Century housewife to try on her table– the Rose and the Star– from Mrs. Beeton

Entertaining and food ideas from Mrs. Beeton’s Book of Household Management, first published in 1861

Have a Wonderful Easter

1921 Humor in the News

What was found funny in the news pages of the 1920’s... From May, 1921

Wilson College girls got out their examination books today and answered the now famous Edison questions. Here is the result of their labor over some of the questions:

Q. What star is it that has recently been measured and found to be of enormous size?

A. Fatty Arbuckle.

Q. Who was Cleopatra?

A. Anthony's sweetie.

Q. What is coke?

A. Seven cents, including; war tax.

Q. Where do we get peanuts from?

A. The circus.

Q. From where do we get our dates?

A. The University of Pennsylvania.

Q. To what is the change of seasons due?

A. Good teamwork on the part of the milliners and dressmakers.

Q. What state is the largest?

A. Matrimony.

Boyabus Kissabus

Boyabus Kissabus a sweet girlorrum

Girlabus cryabus— “Wants some morum!”

Boyabus Kissabus — Walked old mamorum;

Boyabus kickedbus out the back doorum;

Girlabus cryabus, “Kisses no morum!”

By the author,

Ruth Martin

I found this charming verse when researching the women of the Graber Olive House family for a 4 month long exhibit at the Ontario Museum of History and Art in 2017.  

Ruth Martin was not a Graber, but her daughter, Betty, became one when she married Bob Graber in 1936. The paper was signed “By the author, Ruth Martin.” 

This style of speaking was called “hog Latin” and was all the rage with schoolgirls in the late-1800’s, and made comebacks several times in the early 1900’s.

Attend one of our popular “Talk with Tea” events and learn more about young women in the Victorian and Edwardian eras.

About “Traditions and Tea”

All about “Traditions and Tea” at Georgia Belle et Cie”

Some of the many items we talk about at the Traditions and Tea events – Baby bib clips and napkin clips. We have them from the late 1800’s to the mid 1900’s 

We are located at the historic Graber Olive House in Ontario California. My husband’s grandfather, C. C. Graber, started the company in 1894. Our 1920's tea room setting is named after C.C.’s wife, Georgia Belle Graber. 

The 1920's were such a great time of change for the women in the U.S. and our talks and classes focus on many of those changes for women, the etiquette, dress and lifestyle of the era, and those preceding that time period.

Each talk or class is accompanied by refreshments in the form of an afternoon tea – scones, assorted finger sandwiches, dainty desserts and, of course, freshly brewed pots of tea! 

The price is $32.00 per person, and we serve unlimited scones, tea sandwiches and desserts, along with a variety of teas at each table.

Our talk on “Dining with Royalty; From Picnics to the Palaces” are fun and informative. One item people enjoy viewing is the original table seating chart for the dinner given in honor of the Duke of Gloucester’s visit to Australia in 1934. We don’t simply cover the British royal family, but dining with royals the world over, throughout history.

Each talk or class is approximately 2 hours. Our most popular talks are listed below—

1. Designed for Dining – The What, ‘Ware and When of the Table
2. Victorian Era Etiquette and Her Queen 
3. Tea History and Tea Etiquette
   
4. Reading the Tea Leaves and Other 19th Century Pastimes
5. Dining with Royalty; From Picnics to the Palaces
   
6. Victorian and Edwardian Era Fads and Fancies
7. Dining Etiquette; the “Do’s and Don’ts” for the Table
   
8. Shaped to Please; Pots, Their Purposes, the Cups and Pleasures
9. Jane Austen's England and the Silver Fork Novel 
   
10. Learning Tea Manners with “Little Betty” (for ages 6 and up, accompanied by an adult, these include a book)

To find out about upcoming Talks and Tea, or to book a private Talk and Tea for your group, club or special event, call me at 800.891.RSVP

 Outside the U.S.? Call 909.923.5650

We hope to see you soon at one of our many events! – Maura J. Graber 

Tea and Visiting Card Etiquette

Calling or “visiting cards” were very important in the early 1900’s. Especially if one was new to an area and getting acquainted. Even more so, if advertisements by card-makers were true and hostesses set upon the visiting cards the minute guests left, to see if the cards were proper or not! 

Georgia Belle Graber’s cards were very plain. She ordered them in 1907 when she married C.C. Graber and moved to Ontario to live and start her family.

According to Country Living magazine, austere calling cards were what the "true upper-crusters” (think Downton Abbey) used. They engraved their cards with nothing more than a name and avoided any sign of frivolity or fussiness, like images of birds or flowers. From what my late mother in-law, Betty Graber said, Georgia Belle would have probably been shocked to find that she was considered an “upper- cruster” due the simplicity of her calling card.

Newspapers and women’s magazines carried advertisements, like the one from 1907 pictured above, that played on the sensibilities of etiquette-minded women who wanted to do the socially correct thing. No woman of 1907 wanted to be seen as “entirely out of harmony with the demands of etiquette”!   

Posted by Site Editor, Maura J. Graber 

Georgia Belle’s Calling Card Etiquette

One of my favorite items to show and discuss at our talks and teas, is a box of Georgia Belle Graber’s calling cards. Calling cards were the forerunners of today’s business cards. As she became “Mrs. Clifford Clement Graber” in 1907, and I was marrying his grandson and namesake in 1990, the box of cards, along with the copperplate for engraving, was an engagement gift to me from my late-mother in law, Betty Graber. Stop in and ask about them!

Pictured above and below– Georgia Belle Graber’s Edwardian era calling cards from 1907, sitting in an antique Pairpoint silver, calling card tray, atop two business cards for “Georgia Belle et Cie.” The tray features a tenacious dog who does not wish to give up the newspaper he has snagged and holds in his teeth. The newspaper is dated May 4, 1891 – 

“

On a reception day or at a tea you should leave your cards in the card tray in the hall on your departure. No call is necessary in acknowledgment of an afternoon tea. A card left or sent to a tea discharges the obligation.“ ~ from the Los Angeles Herald, 1891

“The wise woman carries cards with her wherever she goes, for there are many uses for them. Nowadays, she carries shopping cards also, and saves time and trouble when she makes purchases. A neatly engraved card is always in good taste, even when not strictly up to style, but a careful woman is modish in that, as in every other detail of her toilette.” 

Agony Aunt, Betty Bradeen’s, 1909 Etiquette Advice for Calling Card Use in the syndicated column, “Betty Bradeen’s Daily Chat”

“Sometimes I open letters to find that the desired information would be too late. That happens when social functions are looming up in the near future, and somebody has met a puzzling situation. Generally, such letters ask for information on the subject of visiting cards or notes of acceptance or regret. There are only a few rules governing the etiquette on such occasions, but they are important. Every woman should know them, even though she has no occasion for such knowledge. We learn a good deal which is never put to account, you know. 

“When a woman calls upon a new neighbor, she carries a card for each woman in the family and her husband’s cards as well, with one for the masculine head of the house. That is only for the first call; which is returned in like manner, and then the acquaintance is purely a matter of individual choice. The demands of etiquette have been met. Cards are convenient things even after terms of intimacy have been established, for they serve as reminders of visits whigh might be forgotten or might never be known. The wise woman carries cards with her wherever she goes, for there are many uses for them. Nowadays, she carries shopping cards also, and saves time and trouble when she makes purchases. A neatly engraved card is always in good taste, even when not strictly up to style, but a careful woman is modish in that, as in every other detail of her toilette.

“Letters of acceptance or regret are imperative, and shortcomings in this line are never overlooked. The sender of an invitation has a right to expect the courtesy of a reply of some sort — and the nature of the reply has much bearing upon the success of the function. In wedding invitations, the answers are sent to those who issue them, no matter whether there is an acquaintanceship or not. For instance, the parents of a bride send many such to friends of the bridegroom, persons they have never seen, but answers are due them just the same.” –Betty Bradeen, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Vintage Glove Etiquette

Glove fashion article from 1933 – We love history, etiquette and fashion! We also love talking about what we collect. Next time you are in the neighborhood, stop by the Graber Olive House for one of our Talks and Tea, or call 909-923-5650 in advance, to see what topics are on our upcoming schedule and see our collections of vintage fashion accessories and antique flatware in our La Casita shop. 

Glove Etiquette 

Don’t eat, drink, or smoke with gloves on.
Don’t play cards with gloves on.
Don’t apply makeup with gloves on.
Don’t wear jewelry over gloves, with the exception of bracelets.
Don’t make a habit of carrying your gloves.

For more glove etiquette, read one of Maura Graber’s post here on her Etiquette Sleuth Blog 

1920’s Women’s Fashions

What were women wearing in the late-1920’s?

“Fashion Experts Study Effects 

of World War I”

Fashion experts have been making a study of the world war and what it did to their business. They find, according to reports, that the war brought more sweeping changes in women’s fashions than ever occurred before in any given century.

      Here are some of the results chargeable to it: 

• It cut a foot or so off the dress of all the women in Christendom. 

• It wrecked the ancient petticoat business. 

• It plunged the world's textile in dustries into despair. 

• It abolished big hats, hair nets, whalebones, steel corsets, garters, veils and hatpins. 

According to one fashion expert, “Thus came about the greatest single revolution in dress since fig leaf aprons were abolished.’’

                                                        March 19, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the the Site Curator for the Georgia-Belle.Blogspot

Tea Table Etiquette

                 Patented design for a tea service

 in 1873

     

          Quaint Customs Once Observed by British Dames

Tea drinking has become very fashionable among us of late years, almost as much as it was in England a century ago, but the prevailing customs at the table are different. The "teacup times of hood and hoop" had their own etiquette, of a sort not likely to be revived. What should we think now of a fashionable lady who cooled her tea with her breath? 

Yet Young says of a certain bewildering Lady Betty:

Her two red lips affected zephyrs blow To cool the Bohea and inflame the beau. While one white finger and a thumb conspire To lift the cup and make the world admire.

Again a passage in contemporary literature shows that it was a lack of good manners to take much cream or sugar in one's tea. Says a lady of quality to her daughter:

“I must further advise you, Harriet, not to heap such mountains of sugar into your tea, nor to pour such a deluge of cream in. People will certainly take you for the daughter of a dairymaid.” 

Pinky fingers should not be thrust out! ~ Not a real "Dame," and not the "daughter of a dairymaid," either, I doubt Dame Edna, is what the writer of this article had in mind. 

Certain other customs may be remembered in this country among us who had grandmothers trained in the ceremonies of a later day. One of them consisted in putting the spoon in the cup to show that no more tea was desired; another was that of turning over the cup in the saucer for the same purpose. 

Etiquette also demanded that the tea should be tasted from the spoon, and that the hostess should then inquire, "Is your tea agreeable?" Certain scrupulous old ladies ask that now, and the question savors of a more sedate and gentle day than this. — From The St. Louis Republic, 1899 and Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber,  Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tea Time in Morocco

Tea is an honored institution in Morocco, and it is the custom for the guests to take three cups in succession – the first with sugar, the second with the addition of vanilla and the third with mint. – Photo from Pinterest

“As a Paris contemporary observes, taking tea in France or in England is an easy and graceful process, but according to the etiquette of Morocco, the same can not be said. Tea is an honored institution in the houses of the Caids, and it is the custom for the guests to take three cups in succession – the first with sugar, the second with the addition of vanilla and the third with mint.

“The curious thing is the way the tea is made. The vessel in which it is brewed is warmed by the head of the house. Next he puts in the tea and sugar. Then, after a time, he draws off a cup and tastes it. The remainder goes back into the pot. This is repeated until the beverage suits the palate of the host. Then the cups are passed around, but they are not emptied by the guests. What, remains is pased back the host, who puts it into the vessel for the preparations which are to follow with vanilla and mint.” – The San Francisco Call, 1912

The “Dutchess” is a Teaspoon?

The Duchess of Queensberry, 

Catherine Douglas

There is quite a bit of history at the Royal College of Physicians in England. After all, it was founded in 1518 by a charter granted by King Henry VIII, so it has been in business for quite some time.

The teaspoon in question, or a “Dutchess” if you will, is from a collection of medical artifacts at the college. Medical artifacts collected by the late Dr. Cecil Symons (1921–1987) and his wife Jean. Dr. Symons was a cardiologist with a curiosity about Georgian Era medicinal spoons, among other things. He and his wife Jean didn't simply buy items for their historical significance, many were bought because they simply liked the pieces and found them interesting. I have found most collectors buy items for the same reason.

According to Jean Symons in her article, “A Duchess, a Physician and a Spoon”, Symons writes, “The development of the medicine spoon in the Georgian era and particularly whether it preceded the teaspoon - or vice versa - was of particular interest. In 1979 a spoon came up for auction inscribed: ‘Gift of the Dutchess of Queensberry to Lady Carbery.’ Why did she give a spoon in a shagreen case? Was it for medicine or tea? She was known to have a deep interest in potions, tissanes and balsamic draughts and to have made them for her friends. A dose of medicine became known as ‘a teaspoonful’ and it is interesting that that the modern 5ml plastic medicine measure has exactly the same capacity as the gift of the Dutchess of Queensberry to Lady Carberry of 1755.”

‘Gift of the Dutchess of Queensberry to Lady Carberry’ 

Just as today, tea at that time was promoted by many as having medicinal benefits. In fact, according to Symons, the Dutchess of Queensberry had given away many such spoons as gifts, along with the “medicines” she had made. So many were given away in fact, that a teaspoon soon came to be known as “a Dutchess”.

‘A Dutchess’ (c. 1755), engraved on a similar spoon in the Symons Collection made by Thomas and William Chawner in London and a silver medicine spoon and case (c.1755) inscribed 'Gift of the Dutchess of Queensberry to Lady Carberry' .



Notes Symons, "A dose of medicine became known as ‘a teaspoonful’ and the modern plastic medicine spoon, still called a teaspoon, has an identical 5 ml capacity to the duchess’s silver spoon, which further suggests it may have been used as a medicine spoon.” So there you have it... A dutchess is just like a teaspoon. – First published on Etiquette with Maura Graber in July 2011

Proper 5:00 Tea Etiquette in 1901

                                                      

Victorian Tea Science Etiquette

Making Tea Scientifically 

An English Analyst Sets Down the Rules of the Process

Professor Goodfellow, the well known English analyst, gives these rules for making “good” tea: 

1. Always use good tea. 

2. Use “two” hot, dry earthenware teapots. 

3. Use soft water which has just got to the boil. 

4. Infuse about four minutes. 

5. Pour off into the second hot, dry teapot. 

6. Avoid second brews with used tea leaves. 

The fact that tea, as served in France is so often bad, may be accounted for by the omission of some one, or perhaps all, of the above rules in its preparation. They are all necessary to make a, cup of really good tea, and if they were more often strictly adhered to tea would oftener be a delicious beverage. Even at the best “afternoon tea” rooms in England, America and France I do not believe that “two” hot, “dry” teapots are often used to make tea “fresh for each customer,” or that the tea leaves thereafter are thrown away.– The Los Angeles Herald, 1899

Celebrating French, British and Spanish Beverages

What is it about the French coffee?  The coffee sweetened with that sparkling beet-root sugar which ornaments a French table, is the celebrated café-au-lait, the name of which has gone round the world. 

We are not about to enter into the merits of the great tea-and-coffee controversy, further than in our general caution concerning them in the chapter on Healthful Drinks; but we now proceed to treat of them as actual existences, and speak only of the modes of making the best of them. The French coffee is reputed the best in the world; and a thousand voices have asked, What is it about the French coffee?

In the first place, then, the French coffee is coffee, and not chickory, or rye, or beans, or peas. In the second place, it is freshly roasted, whenever made—roasted with great care and eveness in a little revolving cylinder which makes part of the furniture of every kitchen, and which keeps in the aroma of the berry. 

It is never overdone, so as to destroy the coffee-flavor, which is in nine cases out of ten the fault of the coffee we meet with. Then it is ground, and placed in a coffee-pot with a filter through which, when it has yielded up its life to the boiling water poured upon it, the delicious extract percolates in clear drops, the coffee-pot standing on a heated stove to maintain the temperature. The nose of the coffee-pot is stopped up to prevent the escape of the aroma during this process. The extract thus obtained is a perfectly clear, dark fluid, known as café noir, or black coffee. 

It is black only because of its strength, being in fact almost the very essential oil of coffee. A table-spoonful of this in boiled milk would make what is ordinarily called a strong cup of coffee. The boiled milk is prepared with no less care. It must be fresh and new, not merely warmed or even brought to the boiling-point, but slowly simmered till it attains a thick, creamy richness. The coffee mixed with this, and sweetened with that sparkling beet-root sugar which ornaments a French table, is the celebrated café-au-lait, the name of which has gone round the world. 

From 1869: "Chocolate is a French and Spanish article, and one seldom served on American tables." ··· In 1502, Christopher Columbus was the first European to taste cocoa on his fourth voyage to the New World, returned to Europe with the first cocoa beans. Records from the time suggest that recognizing its potential, he took a load of cocoa beans back to Spain.

As we look to France for the best coffee, so we must look to England for the perfection of tea. The tea-kettle is as much an English institution as aristocracy or the Prayer-Book; and when one wants to know exactly how tea should he made, one has only to ask how a fine old English house-keeper makes it. 

The first article of her faith is, that the water must not merely be hot, not merely have boiled a few moments since, but be actually boiling at the moment it touches the tea. Hence, though servants in England are vastly better trained than with us, this delicate mystery is seldom left to their hands. Tea-making belongs to the drawing-room, and high-born ladies preside at the bubbling and loud hissing urn, and see that all due rites and solemnities are properly performed—that the cups are hot, and that the infused tea waits the exact time before the libations commence. 

Of late, the introduction of English breakfast-tea has raised a new sect among the tea-drinkers, reversing some of the old canons. Breakfast-tea must be boiled! Unlike the delicate article of olden time, which required only a momentary infusion to develop its richness, this requires a longer and severer treatment to bring out its strength—thus confusing all the established usages, and throwing the work into the hands of the cook in the kitchen. 

The faults of tea, as too commonly found at our hotels and boarding-houses, are, that it is made in every way the reverse of what it should be. The water is hot, perhaps, but not boiling; the tea has a general flat, stale, smoky taste, devoid of life or spirit; and it is served usually with thin milk, instead of cream. Cream is an essential to the richness of tea as of coffee. Lacking cream, boiled milk is better than cold. 

Chocolate is a French and Spanish article, and one seldom served on American tables. We in America, however, make an article every way equal to any which can be imported from Paris, and he who buys the best vanilla-chocolate may rest assured that no foreign land can furnish anything better. A very rich and delicious beverage may be made by dissolving this in milk, slowly boiled down after the French fashion. –From Catharine Beecher's and Harriet Beecher Stowe's, 1869, “American Woman's Home"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia